The week’s Sunday Scaries to close out November offered NFL teams holiday haunts and reasons to be thankful.
Sunday scaries … a feeling of anxiety or sadness one may feel when the weekend is almost over, either because the work/school week is about to begin, there is no more time for fun or relaxing weekend activities, or both. (h/t Merriam-Webster.com, slang section)
Whether it’s on social media, Hinge profiles that ask for the perfect Sunday or on the minds of school-bound children who haven’t completed that project that was assigned three weeks ago, Sunday scaries no doubt jostle the imagination. The origins of the concept are unknown but were perhaps felt and understood long before a term for them was coined, and it now has a bit of a stranglehold on the American imagination. It perhaps multiples fortyfold on the fields of the NFL, even if its participants would never admit.
Bills 26, Steelers 7
It’s now or never for Buffalo.
A bittersweet November ended on a high note for the Bills, who stifled the Steelers in a one-sided second half that featured more Josh Allen history, as he usurped Cam Newton as the most prolific rushing quarterback scorer in NFL history with his 76th such touchdown. If the Bills, however, want to truly identify as New Yorkers, they can heed the advice of one of the state’s most famous fictional citizens: with great power comes great responsibility.
Intriguing events around the rest of the AFC send a more dire message to the Bills: get it right. Their recurring playoff foes from Kansas City are on the outside looking in. Early surprises like the Colts are fading, while the Broncos and Patriots are leading firmly but are undoubtedly flawed. If one wrote a script to the Bills’ years at The Ralph/Rich/Highmark and was searching for a happy ending, this no doubt serves as potential foreshadowing to that glorious conclusion. If Buffalo can’t capitalize on any of it, it’ll serve as a stain on an otherwise brilliant era of football.
Broncos 27, Commanders 26 (OT)
The Commanders are loving the spoiler tag.
If you’re going to be bad, at least have fun with it. The Washington Commanders, who were preparing for a playoff trip this time last year, have done so in defeat, sandwiching their bye week with defeats in over time.
As regular offensive starters start to trickle back in, Washington took the AFC West-leading Broncos to the brink in a shocking manner … even by Rocky standards. Terry McLaurin was heralded by 96 yards and a score, Treylon Burks’ attempt to reclaim the narrative on his NFL career was rung in by an Odell Beckham-style score, and the defense looked improved under head coach and playcaller Dan Quinn. The Commanders face irrelevant road games against the Vikings and Giants over the next two weeks but close the year with two meetings against Philadelphia and a visit from the Dallas Cowboys. It’s not in the way they envisioned, but the Commanders, who are set to get Jayden Daniels back despite their relative elimination, are once again set to decide the NFC East.
Buccaneers 20, Cardinals 17
It’s a working holiday for Jonathan Gannon.
If not for the inclusion of one extra merry-goer, no team in the NFL perhaps better personifies the meme of Squidward Tentacles grimly looking out the window at his jovial neighbors SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star than the Cardinals. While Arizona has been respectable as the inevitable has drawn near, the Cardinals will officially be left on the outside of the playoffs looking in after they were made to walk the mathematical plank by the Bucs. The rest of the NFC West, of course, is in prime playoff contention, making the Cardinals’ early departure all the more embarrassing.
Arizona now has five consequence-free opportunities to play out its future, the list starting with the fate of the third-year boss Jonathan Gannon. Officially unable to build on last year’s eight-win total, Gannon does have a few accolades to hold his hat on: the offensive performance has been fairly consistent despite tenured backup quarterback Jacoby Brissett starting and the rushing (Zonovan Knight) and receiving rooms (Trey McBride, Michael Wilson) have solid building blocks, even if some of the high-profile adds (Marvin Harrison Jr.) are struggling. There’s also a bit to get excited about on a meandering defense, with Denzel Burke and Walter Nolen enjoying breakouts. Additionally, Arizona has left a mark on the NFC playoff picture, owning wins over Carolina and Dallas, as well as narrow defeats to San Francisco, Green Bay, Jacksonville, and now Tampa. Whether that’s enough to grant Gannon a fourth year remains to be seen, but it certainly adds a layer of intrigue to the Cardinals’ otherwise-meaningless final slate.
Chargers 31, Raiders 14
The Bolts must bolt their way to postseason success.
The Charger franchise seems tailor-made for the old Big 12, considering most of its modern success (and failures) has relied heavily on the passing game. Blessed with sterling success medically under center—four men have started at quarterback for the Chargers since 2006, with two of them appearing in all but five—the Chargers will now hold their breath when it comes to the status of Justin Herbert, who endured a hand injury amidst taking care of business against Las Vegas.
That puts sizable pressure on the LA run game, which is enjoying a relative resurgence behind Kimani Vidal’s breakout. With Najee Harris and Hassan Haskins both on injured reserve, depth is at a relative premium, though Jarret Patterson did well in a newly-promoted opportunity off the practice squad. If Herbert, who probably could benefit from some extended assistance behind him (2-5 in his career when forced to throw at least 50 times a game), is truly down for the count, LA still has a chance if the rushers (and, by extension, a maligned offensive line) rise to the occasion. There’s no mercy for LA on the schedule, as they’re forced to face the infuriated Philadelphia Eagles in an anticipated Monday nighter this week.
Dolphins 21, Saints 17
Mike McDaniel might work his way into an extension.
When the networks break out the NFL playoff charts that essentially serve as gridiron Advent calendars, an unexpected team that many took down with the Halloween decorations always seems to linger. This time around, that squads lingers in South Beach, which has rattled off wins in four of five against subpar competition (Nov. 9’s triumph over Buffalo notwithstanding).
Despite their best efforts, the Dolphins snatched a win from the jaws of defeat against the woebegone Saints, who engaged in the rare act of an onside kick recovery before the Miami defense wised up on the potential game-winning drive. While the Dolphins foreshadowed a long-sought, full-on rebuild with the in-season firing of general manager Chris Grier, one has to wonder if their lingering presence in the playoff picture has bought time for the maligned McDaniel, who has a prime chance to get the team back to .500 with the Jets and Steelers looming on the schedule.
49ers 26, Browns 8
Injuries could tarnish the Niners’ championship prospects.
The Rams’ shocking loss in Carolina narrowed up the NFC West standings, which feature three teams with nine wins. San Francisco added itself to that not-so-exclusive list with an ugly win in Cleveland and sits a half-game behind Los Angeles and the Seattle Seahawks.
But the Niners’ periods of prosperity have frequently been marred by injury and this championship case may be no exception: Brock Purdy has been serviceable since coming back from turf toe but he lost two noticeable blockers in Ben Bartch and Kyle Juszczyk during second half action. San Francisco is also biding its time for the return of linebacker Tatum Bethune. San Francisco has lingered in the NFC penthouse for so long thanks to taking advantage of opportunities at the right time. Maybe this late is exactly what the doctor ordered.
Jaguars 25, Titans 3
The Titans may have to stay at the top.
When the Tennessee Titans moved on from Derrick Henry and Mike Vrabel, it was about the closest any NFL team would come to making a full-fledged announcement about a rebuild. It even had an unspoken deadline of contention of sorts through the opening of New Nissan Stadium, which is set to replace the current edition in 2027. For that to happen, however, the Titans had to make at least some sort of progress that season, and things may have hit rock bottom against the surging Jaguars.
It was a game that once again hinted that Cam Ward may not be the answer at quarterback but that the team has may other issues that won’t be solved in a single offseason. That includes a line that let up three sacks and a defense that Jacksonville’s quiet offense make just enough big plays to move into first place in the division. For all the carnage it has endured this season, Tennessee does have the comfort of the current top pick. Had Ward shown any sort of consistent progress, the Titans would probably be comfortable trading that pick off to a QB-hungry team behind them for more foundation and build around Ward, but they’re inching toward a drafting pickle where there’s no immediate right answer.
Jets 27, Falcons 24
Do the Jets have hope? Again?
Once the Jets Tax—the unspoken phenomenon where common football follies are rendered undisputedly hilarious—is paid, there are some things to get excited about in New York/New Jersey’s green football affairs: the Jets have won three of five after opening the Aaron Glenn era with eight straight losses, defensive consistency is starting to surface, and the trade deadline purge have found offensive depth stars in John Metchie and AD Mitchell. While it’ll do nothing for their current postseason standing and it came against the woebegone Falcons, there was indeed a legitimate sense of joy behind a last-second victory at rainy MetLife Stadium.
Overall, it’s enough to put some form of legitimate hope behind the Jets’ chances … but they’ve been in this position before, and recently. The prior eras featured fleeting flashes of hope but they obviously proved to be mirages. New York can use these final hours to build that scheme, one they hope proves lasting this time around. Hope is a dangerous thing, but everyone’s got to be Andy Dufresne at some point in their lives.
Panthers 31, Rams 28
Charlotte is the land of (missed) opportunity.
Everything’s coming up Carolina as it enters its bizarrely late bye: they may have an offensive battery for years to come (Tetairoa McMillan, Bryce Young, and whoever wins the Rico Dowdle/Chuba Hubbard throwdown, which got a little more interesting with the latter’s breakout against the mighty Rams) and the Adam Thielen trade with the Vikings looks brilliant, even if the top yields were day three picks. It culminated in the win over LA, which likely stands as the signature moment of teal 2020s. The Panthers also kept pace with the rollercoaster antics of the Buccaneers, who have a half-game lead for the NFC South division lead and the home playoff game that comes with it entering December.
With two parleys with the Bucs looming, Carolina should be one of the more talked-about teams on the remaining slate (hello, Week 18 Sunday nighter). But the Panthers are peppered with missed opportunities: falling to Jacksonville, New England, Buffalo, and San Francisco in one-sided fashion is understandable for a team that contend for a division, not a Super Bowl, but the Panthers would be leading into their bye if not for losses to lowly Arizona and New Orleans. There’s lots of palpable excitement in Charlotte. The Panthers will be one of the most nerve-racking teams in the final weeks … but they didn’t have to be (even if it’s a much preferable spot to where they were this time last year).
Seahawks 26, Vikings 0
There may be a sequel in Seattle.
Sunday was a throwback performance for the Seattle Seahawks in more ways than one: not only did the ‘Hawks wear their lauded throwbacks but they posted a shutout victory for the first time since the Legion of Boom’s heyday in 2015. Ernest Jones had two interceptions while Coby Bryant and Riq Woolen also forced turnovers through the air.
Of course, one would be fully advised to take the Pacific Northwest prowess with a grain of salt considering the meandering ways of the Minnesota offense (which subjected undrafted rookie Max Brosmer to the horrifying fray in place of the injured/ineffective JJ McCarthy). But Mike McDonald’s vision is more or less fully complete with the Seattle defense humming and that could be the ultimate difference in the yardage-happy NFC West.
Texans 20, Colts 16
Did the contending Colts jump the gun?
Nothing personifies the cutthroat nature of NFL football better than the idea of labeling oft-injured players as “busts.” It’s hard to force the label upon Sam Bradford, Ki-Jana Carter, Robert Griffin III, and more when their ultimate sin is getting hurt while playing a violent game. Is the veteran Sauce Gardner the next to enter that list? Gardner, who cost the Colts their first-round picks over the next two seasons, injured his calf early during the Texans’ visit and could only watch as Indianapolis dropped not only its third in the last four but also the AFC South division lead.
While the NFL trade deadline often lacks the panache of its companions on the diamond, hardwood, or ice, the Colts barter for Gardner was perhaps one of the most notable “splashes” a gridiron “buyer” had made in quite some time. To see it go up in relative flames so quickly hits at a “buyer beware” mentality, that it was silly to immediately go Super Bowl hunting in year one of this supposed new era. Fortunately and unfortunately for Indy, there’s a golden opportunity to make things right: in addition to a rematch with the Texans and a division duo with the Jaguars, the Colts get interconference showings against Seattle and San Francisco, which could immediately re-establish their standing amongst the contenders.
Geoff Magliocchetti is on X @GeoffJMags
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